Malas (Just my Comedy) v.12e

Malas itu kompleks macam-macam faktor yang mempengaruhinya:
1. Target
Orang yang tujuan hidupnya berbeda dari yang lain bisa dilabel malas.
Contoh:
Dalam pekerjaan merapikan meja, ada yang tujuannya meja harus tidak berdebu agar terinspirasi, ada yang tujuannya meja harus tertata dengan label agar mudah mencari barang tapi tidak menganggap bebas debu sebagai hal yang menginspirasi, ada yang menganggap tidak perlu merapikan meja karena inspirasi dan kemudahan mencari barang dapat dia capai tanpa merapikan meja. Ada juga yang menganggap merapikan meja tidak akan memberinya inspirasi dan memberi label tidak akan memudahkannya untuk mencari barang, ada yang menganggap meja yang berantakan lebih membantu dia menyelesaikan masalah dan ada juga yang memang tujuan hidupnya tidak untuk menyelesaikan masalah yang dihadapi oleh kantornya.

2. Kemampuan
Ada orang yang memiliki tujuan, tapi merasa tidak mampu mencapai tujuan itu dengan baik dan benar dengan segala prosedur yang diketahuinya dan dia tidak tahu bagaimana cara mencapai tujuannya itu. Sehingga dia meninggalkan tujuan itu dan beralih ke masalah lain atau kegiatan lain yang membuatnya tidak mengingat-ingat akan tujuan itu lagi. Menghindari Kegagalan.
Ini bisa bagus bisa jelek, bagus kalau tujuan anda adalah mencari cara bagaimana cara mendapatkan istri orang. Jangan rajin rajin, Rajin mengejar istri orang.

3. Perhatian dan/atau prioritas
Ada orang yang memiliki tujuan yang sama, merasa mampu, tapi dia punya beberapa tujuan lain juga yang ingin dia capai, contoh tujuan-tujuan lain yang dapat membuat malas:
Jatuh Cinta,
Game,
Istirahat demi kesehatan badan (karena habis pacaran dan main game tengah malam)

Solusi Kemalasan:
1. Menemukan Tujuan hidupmu sendiri dan menjalaninya, bukan tujuan hidup orang lain lalu kamu yang menjalaninya. (Bisa ditemukan dari empathy, atau mengalami penderitaan sendiri, atau dari obsesi).
2. Belajar Belajar dan Belajar

-----------

There's a large wealth gap in our economy, there's a laaaarge gap.
People at the top are so rich and so few, people at the bottom are so poor and so many.
Where are the middle income people?
Where are they?

You know that a good economy is supposed to be shaped like a pyramid? Few at the top followed by a bit more after that and a bit more...

(Heckled) oh cmmon, no no no, what about bees, 
Ants, chimps? There's always hierarchy...

Ok hear me out, I'm just saying, the economy is supposed to have a pyramid like shape to be strong. To withstand the storm, to be unshakeable. Or like a ship, to be able to go to places, be aerodynamic. You got the waves coming, whoosh straight through. You don't see us coming wave, you don't see us coming

Our economy... is like a penis
Yah
A top heavy skinny penis... 

You know a ship is going to take you to places... 
A penis, is going to f*k you up.

-----------

I'm all for naked beach man... In fact I'm all for naked people everywhere

Let me explain with this illustration:

A terrorist spy from a war torned country went to Saudi Arabia, and he said "Masha Allah... this place has been cursed, the holy city has been defiled, my dick is so hard seeing all the women here not wearing burqa, I'm going to bomb this place. Of course this terrorist is not the type of terrorist who execute, he's just a spy... after a week of fierce and heavenly jacking off with all of these "materials" freely displayed around him, he stopped being too excited about it and he started to worry more about what he going to eat, jobs and stuff. After living a normal life as a normal person for a couple of months there he got a call from Afghanistan or Syria or wherever, it was from his organization and he was told to spy on Indonesia. 

So he went to Indonesia, and as he arrived at the airport... "Masha Allah... is this a muslim country... this is not a muslim country... this is not a muslim country... my dick is so hard right now, this can't be a muslim country. Women are not supposed to have their hairs hanging out like this, hey lady! for the love of God cover your tits! (shouting at an immigration officer in a uniform). Long story short he was detained and he got out somehow... went to the city... got another hard on, cursed the place, jacking off... And he got a job and lived like normal for a couple of months... no longer aroused all the time. 

Then the organization sent him to Sydney...
Yeah Sydney!
Masha Allah... these western world indeed is the country of Shaitan! This place is the love child of Dajjal and Israel! all these women, all these women makes me want to explode all over the place! 

Then same things happens right, he got so hungry, and lonely, he made friends with some locals get a job, and lived like normal. Jacking off everyday like everyone does, not to the women on the streets, but to porn or hentai... because he wouldn't be able to get off out of things he sees everyday anymore right?

So you got the point right? That's what I'm saying... its not about the clothings its about relativity

Then he got a call to go to Masai Mara.... ahaahahaha!

Its about the relativity guys... 
But yeah indeed libido is a problem, messing with your concentration and stuff. Libido ruins everything, sex ruins everything! Ruins your friendship... ruins your job... ruins your marriage, yes even ruins your marriage... ruins your meditation, right?

I have a sister that I really dote, anyone has a pet? What kind of pet? Do you think your pet is cute? ok, ok... of course...  I think my sister is cuter than your pet sir. I think she's the cutest thing in the world... but because of libido... no no no... not like that... listen... listen.... no
BUT!
BUT ever since puberty I'm not allowed to roll around in beds with her anymore... 
Hey! Hey! Hey! shut up! no... its not like that OMG!

See this, guys this, this is what I'm talking about, sex ruins everything, everything. 

I wish we could have a device to turn our libido on and off at will... don't you? Then everyone could go around naked just as long as we agree to turn that thing on when we are in public... Right?

Wouldn't that be a cool invention to have, if you could make something like that everyone would buy it, everyone would buy it.... Especially at the airport especially for when you're on the plane guys

Imagine you're on a plane, on a flight and you wanted to pee... when you went to the toilet its occupied... so you waited... then from the inside you hear (exagerratingly) uwuwuwuwuh arrrrrrrgh... uwuwuwuwuwuwh, arrrrrrrrgh... these jackasses were doing it on the toilet!

So you knocked on the door right... "Hey I got a pee, please, please I got to urinate..."
Everyone was looking at you... "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... they were... they were... I'm sorry"
Then you hear from the inside... "Uh I can't hold it any longer" "I can't hold it any longer too darling"
... 
"I can't hold it any longer tooo jackass!! hurry up!"
"Let us go together!" "Yes lets go together darling!"
... 
"NOOOO! NOOO! I don't wanna go together, hurry up and open the door I can't stand it any longer!"

"I can't stand it any longer too darling...uh oooh aaaaaaaaaaaarrrghhh!"
"Uwuwuwuwuwuwuwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
...
"eh..." (me kneeling on the floor)

Then they the door was opened and one of them said thank you it was amazing

Sex ruins everything guys... 
---------------------------------------------------

Edit: my bad, my ignorance
The fetish to belittle the second best... 
People could overlook this, and it's a dangerous thing. It could not be a dangerous thing, but it's a dangerous thing alongside ignoring due care. My bad
---------------------------------------------------
Yo Mama so fat, camels visit your town to see the pyramid
Yo Mama so normal when she went for a swim she uses the breaststroke, 
Yo Mama so fat she also uses the breaststroke but after three strokes the pool ran out of water
Yo Mama so normal when she uses the breaststroke everyone gave her As
Yo Mama so fat when she uses the breaststroke everyone gave her the Ds
....Yo Mama so normal, when she gave your father nude pictures he sold it to the museum and they actually put it on display
Yo Mama so fat when she went for a swim the African rangers ran away 
Yo Mama so normal the African rangers would have to pay specific attention not to let her pet a gorilla or something
Yo Mama so fat when she farted the African rangers thought there were poachers killing animals.
Yo Mama bought African rangers some cookies
Yo Mama eat African rangers' cookies
Yo Mama saved African rangers' phone numbers and actually called them when she got back from the holiday
Yo Mama was protected by the African Rangers
Yo Mama went dancing together with the tribes and it was actually a burial dance ritual
Yo Mama caused an earthquake while dancing
Yo Mama bribed the tour guide to go back to the hotel for a piss and then went back again acting like she didn't do it.
Yo Mama flooded the encampment so much next year there's a new ecosystem in the area
Yo Mama took so many pictures in the morning but not in the afternoon, turned out she didn't know how to clean out the trash folder. 
Yo Mama subscribed to the city council for a specially allocated trash collector
Yo Mama forgot to bring out the bins
so?
She said sorry and then took it out herself
.... Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why, because my mama was on his side of the way?
no because Yo Mama was crossing the road.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
What could my mama possibly has anything to do with it?
Because Yo Mama was driving on the road
??
Instead of any other person.
When Yo Mama smoke weed there were no significant changes in the daily grocery budget
When Yo Mama smoke weed she handed herself to the police
When Yo Mama drinks coke, she was not satisfied
When Yo Mama drinks coke, she poured it on the glass first
When Yo Mama went shopping the manager had to restocked the food isle
When Yo Mama went shopping she still tried to use coupons from 3 years ago
When Yo Mama played VR games, you have to adjust the glasses all the way to the sides
When Yo Mama played VR games she felt bad for the zombies and scolded you for being indifferent.
When Indian scammers called your Mum, they had to bail cause your mom's gift cards were only for McDonalds
When Indian scammers called your Mum, they prayed together with her for 3 hours before hanging up because she was not done yet. 
Your Mom thinks that fast food wasn't fast enough
Your Mom gave a queue spot to a stranger and instead of going all the way to the back of the line, she moved one step behind. 
-----------------------------------------------

Watched a lot of Andrew Schulz and I thought of this joke:

A comedian was doing a crowd interaction and he stumbled upon a couple who looked like they're happily married. He asked the guy and said you look so perky, so happy, and he smiled and hugged his wife on the shoulder. Ow... you love her that's why you're happy? She's great? When the last time you fought? this morning... right (Everybody laughed)
The comedian looked at the crowd and cringed... "Ok now be honest, we all know... who won the fight. What... What the question is... what did you gave her? You got her a car? You liquidate your will? What... did you gave her?"
You let her have the game room as the living room (the crowd went mad), the second living room... No no no no no no! Please tell me, please that you're not an Action Figure type of guy Plea.... oh shit... what happened to them... YOU're SELLING THEM at the GARAGE SALE!!! (dropped the mike on the ground).

No no no no no! Man. 

I swear you guys... let me drop the red pill on you, I mean all of you who are present today at this place right now. I swear that the CIA, the KGB, Mossad, James Bond 001 to 00 twenty thousands they are all fake. None of them are real, don't believe none of those shit. The real secret agents of the whole Universe, are women. 

Listen! Listen! Do we remember like hundreds, thousands of years ago, when the dinosaurs, real men roamed the plane of the earth? What did they do? They go to war (mf) they bleed and they died...
What did the women do?
What did the women do?! tell me, stayed at home inventing 10 different types of cookies and then eat it themselves!

Now when we got all these offices, skyscrapers, people working while sitting down making hundreds of thousands a year... suddenly from out of the blue, popping up these social science graduates, taking all the HR positions in the company! Where were you thousands of years ago when we got fuked up in the war! bleeding all over the ground making it red?!

I swear you guys. And NOW... hahaa haha haaa. All of a sudden, Now all of a sudden, people starting to change... wait wait... now out of the blue we are starting to see The Russia and Ukraine situation, the Middle East... probably we got to prepare for the world war III (hopefully not). Men emancipation movement, Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, Donald fkn Trump... all of a sudden... have you ever asked what actually is happening? 

Let me tell you what happened, the women didn't like it. (ahahaha) Right? They didn't like the office lifestyle.
O bridgette this is all your fault (making stupid noises), you said it would be fun making millions of dollars sitting at the office giving orders to men. Grandma already got it going for us, we get to stay at home, making 10 different kinds of cookies, and eat it ourselves and now you made us go to work. 
O not a big deal Sharon (cause Karen is overused) lets just make the men great again, we already prepared the truffles for that. 
No bridgette its the Trump not the truffles the Trumps. And the only one that's still ready for that is already more than 60 years old...
O, Sharon who cares about that he could still get it up, give him some of the blue truffles... he'll be fine.

I'm telling you guys women are the real agents (or agent) in the matrix

Alright Alright.... you know what? How about we let the world war III happened, but instead of us men fighting, why don't we stayed at home and let the women fought the war this time, how about that?

Komentar

  1. Komentar ini telah dihapus oleh administrator blog.

    BalasHapus
  2. Malas setelah nonton Jordan Peterson's lecture 2017 tentang openness dan intelligence (IQ), dipengaruhi juga oleh seberapa orang tersebut merasa masa depannya bisa dia prediksi atau tidak.

    Semakin masa depan terasa tidak pasti semakin orang itu tidak mau berinvestasi terhadap hal-hal yang bersifat permanen / infrastruktur yg sulit untuk diselesaikan atau dipertanggung jawabkan.

    BalasHapus

Posting Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Matthew 6:34, worries and the system of money

Piracy and Expectation

Positive and Negative Motivations